The Desert

So many times I feel like I am in a desert. I feel like there is no one there for me. I feel like there is no one that cares. I feel like there is no hope and if I am honest I feel like there is no point to life.

The desert is a place of absolute starvation and thirst. I am longing for something to fill me up. I am longing for something to suffice my desires. I am longing for satisfaction.

It is in the desert where I am most vulnerable. In the desert I am prone to wander and chase after mirages. Mirages that include pictures of things that I think will satisfy like girls or sex or family or friends or approval or comfort and so on... I chase after these mirages to find emptiness. I went out of my way and I strayed from the path to go to these mirages, but when I arrive I only find more desert. When I arrive I become more lost and confused. I thought that this mirage off in the distance would satisfy my needs, but it was only a mirage. I thought that it was real. I thought that it would satisfy, but instead it left me empty. It is a fake illusion of satisfaction.

I am tired of chasing after mirages. I am tired of chasing after lovers that won't satisfy. I am in a desert and I am lost. I am confused and I do not know what to do. I am thirsty and hungry and I am longing to be satisfied.

It is in the desert that my faith is tested. It is in the desert where my true colors shine. It is in the desert where my true heart is revealed. My selfishness and sinful desires are evident and clear when God brings me through the desert. In the desert God reveals my brokeness and evilness. He shows me my sinful desires and reveals to me the brokeness inside of me. In the desert I realize how selfish I am. I realize how desperately I need God. I realize that nothing else will satisfy. It is in the desert tha God brings me back to him.

I am thankful for the desert. I am thankful for my thirst and hunger. I am thankful for my brokeness, because it reminds me of how Great my God is! It reminds me of how much He loves me. It reminds me of how He is enough to satisfy. It reminds me of His awesome Grace and unconditional Love. The desert is the place where God puts me, to show me how much He cares.

When I go through the desert God is very patient. He watches me stumble and fall apart. He sees my heartache and pain. Then at the perfect time God pours out His Love and Grace. He pours it out on me and bathes me in compassion. He kisses my parched lips and embraces my broken soul. He mends the scars and wounds. He suffices every need and every desire. He completes me.

God thank you for the desert! Thank you for every moment that reminds me of how awesome and glorious you are. I am walking through the desert. I am discouraged and broken. I do not know where to go, but I know you will call me at the perfect time. You will be there for me when I need you most. I am in the desert wandering around waiting for your voice. There are many temptations out there that I see. I see them and they look so appealing. I know that these mirages or temptations will not satisfy. I know that they are illusions and are fake. God I pray that you will lead me and that you will bring me into your sweet embrace soon. I do not know how much longer I can last, but God I pray that you will find me soon. I know that you are watching and I know that you can hear me and I know that you are with me and I know that you have a perfect plan. I love you and I trust you!

Matthew 11:28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Isaiah 55:1
"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost."

Matthew 5:6
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."

Psalm 63:1
"A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah. O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water."

John 4:14
"but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."