South Africa

God is constantly at work. He is at work all over the world. When I was in South Africa I got to experience God's amazing power and unconditional love. To wake up everyday with purpose and vision was awesome. Everyday when I woke up I had a plan and the plan was to serve God and bring Him Glory. I feel like in America I never have vision and I never have a plan. Whenever I am in America it is all about me and my personal needs and comforts, but when I was in South Africa it was all about God and it was the most life giving experience I have ever had.

Everyday in South Africa was life changing and to go from that to sitting on the couch everyday has been really hard. The way I lived in South Africa was incredible and awesome. I lived for God and only God, because He was all I had in South Africa. In America I live for me. I live to better my reputation and my status, because I believe that this will give me life. I have been so convicted of this belief and conception I have. It has been so hard to be honest with myself about this, but its true. I live a selfish life in America and I am so done with it. I am done with always putting myself first and others second. I am done with ignoring the poor and needy. I am so appalled with the way I have lived. It makes me sick to my stomach to see my corrupt heart and selfishness. It just proves how needy I am and how much I need a savior.

I need Jesus everyday. I need the Gospel preached to me daily and in South Africa I got to see the Gospel at work in every second of my life. I got to see God work in my heart and work in my life. I got to see God change my life and the lives of people around me. I got to see people come to know Christ and I got to see people fall in love with Jesus. I felt life being breathed into me daily. I could feel God's love being poured out on me daily. When you are in another country you realize that you need God's constant strength and provision. You realize that the only way you are going to be able to get through the trip is by the Grace of God, because you do not know the language and you do not know the culture. You have no choice, but to allow God complete control over your life.

Since being back in the States I can feel myself once again taking control over my own life. I am back in my comfort zone and I am back into my normal routine. The more comfortable I get the more I feel like I can do life on my own without Jesus. I begin to believe that I can earn my own share in heaven and I begin to believe that I can provide for all my needs. This belief is what slowly eats away at my soul and numbs me to the Gospel. I just came off of a five week trip where the Gospel was more alive in me than ever and it had nothing to do with me, but had everything to do with God. I was living in constant surrender to Christ. I understood the need I had for a savior and embraced it with a full heart, but now that I am back in the states I can feel myself slipping back into my old ways. I can feel myself falling back into old habits that have nothing to do with Christ, but have everything to do with me. I do not want this! I do not want to live a life with selfish ambitions and selfish desires! I want to live for Christ! Paul says in Philippians,"To live is Christ and to die is gain!" AMEN to that!

In South Africa I experienced God in a whole new way. I experienced God in a way that I want to bring back to America and to my school. I experienced God, because the Gospel was preached into my life daily. This revealed to me my sin and my needs for Jesus. I experienced God, because of Christ like community. I was living in a community of believers that were going through the same problems as me. They were there for me and listened to me. This community was experiencing the Gospel daily and they were constantly holding me accountable. I experienced God, because of quiet times. Everyday in some way I was in communication with God. In every situation I was dependent on Christ and His grace. I would pray throughout the day and worship throughout the day and be in the word throughout the day. My life was revolving around God and it all starts with Christ. It begins with experiencing the Gospel. Then you need to have a community of believers that challenge you and hold you accountable. A community that encourages you to be in the word and in constant prayer. A community that you can be honest and real with and a community that you can praise God with! The result is a life centered around Christ and when your life revolves around Christ you share about it all the time. You will find yourself talking about Jesus in the most random times. You will find yourself being selfless and focused on the Kingdom of God. You will put others before yourself and you will experience God's constant provision and love. It is amazing! I experienced this in South Africa and I want to live like this for the rest of my life!